it’s not bad or selfish or wrong to desire attention and love when you are feeling ill and upset. sometimes, you need other people to keep you afloat. that’s okay. you are not a burden. being needy is not a bad thing. you deserve to be cared for. it’s okay to ask for help.
I’m gonna depress the hell out of all of you. ready? ok go
so, that “stop devaluing feminized work post”
nice idea and all
but the thing is, as soon as a decent number of women enter any field, it becomes “feminized,” and it becomes devalued.
as women enter a field in greater number, people become less willing to pay for it, the respect for it drops, and it’s seen as less of a big deal. it’s not about the job- it’s about the number of women in the job.
observe what happened with biology. it’s STEM, sure, but anyone in a male-dominated science will sneer at the idea of it being ‘for real,’ nevermind that everyone sure took it more seriously when it was a male dominated field. so has happened with scores of other areas; nursing comes to mind
so the thing is, it’s not the work or the job that has to be uplifted and seen as more respectable. it will never work out, until people start seeing women as respectable
but there’s a doozy and who the fuck knows if it’s ever happening in my life time
"observe what happened with biology. it’s STEM, sure, but anyone in a male-dominated science will sneer at the idea of it being ‘for real,’ nevermind that everyone sure took it more seriously when it was a male dominated field."
Personal anecdote time! I’m in a biology graduate program. An acquaintance wanted to introduce some guy to me because his son was thinking about becoming an undergrad science major. When he found out I was in the biology department, he grinned and said, “Well, I guess that’s kind of related to science.”
I gave him what I hope was an icy look and said, “Isn’t it strange how men outside the field started saying that right around the time biology majors shifted from mostly male to mostly female?”
The guy got this look on his face like he was about to play the “just a joke” card, and then an older woman who had been standing nearby, talking to someone else, turned to me and said, “The same thing happened with real estate.” She went on to explain that, over the course of the career, the male-to-female ratio among real estate agents had dropped, and the pay and “prestige factor” of that job dropped along with it.
This is also famous for happening to teaching. Keep an eye on medicine over the next fifteen years and watch as it becomes less prestigious and less well-paid.
It also happened to secretarial/administrative work - in the 19th century, clerical work was utterly respectable and seen as requiring quite a lot of talent and skill (which it still does!) but then along came the typewriter and women entering the field and HEY PRESTO “she’s just some secretary”
at my university, chemical engineering, or chem eng, was often referred to as “fem eng” why? because it’s an exact 50/50 ratio of women to men, which clearly makes it too feminine. in the 70s/80s chemical engineering was one of the most important and hardest engineering fields (plastics! pulp and paper! OIL) but now that there are more women in the field it’s considered an easier field, in comparison to other fields.
for example, i once heard a girl in mech eng list some of the engineering fields in the order she thought was hardest to easiest. you know what it was? electrical, mechanical, chemical. it’s absolutely no surprise that this list is also a handy ordering of fewest women in the field to most women in the field.
AND, another point! this happens the other way around too. computer science related fields used to be dominated by women, which made it not very important (switchboard operators? yup). once men started taking over the field, well that’s when the big money and prestige came in.
“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.”—Stevie Nicks (via angelingus)
talk to me about how he spent three years unlearning hypervigilance only for it all to come roaring back in one afternoon
tell me about the dreams he has with riley falling, with nat falling, with steve falling, and he swoops to catch him but then steve turns into the winter soldier ripping his wings to shreds, rumlow down below beating the shit out of riley’s body, dead and riddled with bullet holes and still begging for mercy, God, please, Sam, please make him stop, tell me about the times he wakes up with the lurch of freefall in his gut
tell me about the nights he can’t sleep because he’s too busy checking the locks in his apartment over and over again, mechanically running through the same motions, because every time he’s just about to drift off there’s a jolt and the needle skips in his head and he has make another circuit of the room he just has to just one more and he’ll be safe, so he gives up and slumps down on his couch and texts natasha because she’s probably off somewhere halfway around the world and she won’t make anything of it like steve would
they chat for a while until she says im coming over and lo & behold, ten minutes later she’s climbing through his window, she’s pulling some fucking??? power tools ?? out of her purse, it’s three-thirty in the morning and she installs brand-new locks on all the points of entry and his bedroom door, and then she sits with him on the couch and runs her fingers over his head and murmurs pretty things to him in Russian until he dozes off
i thought you were in thailand, sam mumbles, mostly asleep. or norway or, like, mars, you didn’t have to,
yeah, nat smiles, i got back a couple hours ago. the jet lag from mars is a bitch, i’m not even tired, don’t worry
“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation”—(via indigo-dyed)
the “you live with your parents” insult is really flaccid because a metric shitton of cultures don’t see “leave the house forever” as some grandiose moment of liberation that’s so important to the development of a person that it has to happen as fast as possible. until i came to the USA i didn’t know a single person who was pressured by their parents to leave the house because they’re “too old to stay there” or whatever. in puerto rico it is really common to stay with your parents until they and you are both stable enough that you can leave. whaddaya know, there are cultures that don’t place a stigma on being poor or wanting to care for your family or needing your family to care for you for some other reason.
I’ve told people this for years: “Leaving the nest” when you’re 18, assuming it’s under safe and healthy circumstances, is a distinctively white middle class American ideal that doesn’t apply to much of the world, let alone much of America. If you have the chance to leave home of your own volition with the ability to support yourself, great, but most people don’t. We just don’t.
Major trigger warning for the video linked above. I have chosen not to post it here directly.
This week, the video of a family reacting violently to their gay son has gone viral online. Whether you choose to watch it or not, it’s important to know that it’s out there.
Daniel Ashley Pierce, a 20-year-old from Georgia, came out to his family last year and says they were mostly unresponsive. But this week, he found himself in the middle of an altercation with his father, his stepmother and his grandparents after they confront him about his sexuality. Pierce caught the whole thing on camera, without showing anyone’s face.
In the video, you can hear Pierce’s family disowning him, telling him he’s kicked out of their house, yelling slurs at him, and physically beating him.
"Their reaction was pretty much expected [once] I chose to leave instead of pray because they have always been very vocal about not supporting the gay lifestyle," he told HuffPost. "My [stepmother’s] reaction was the most surprising and hurtful."
The family members involved in the intervention, which he says was “driven by my grandparents,” have not contacted the media, but they left Pierce a voicemail telling him to remove the video of the incident from YouTube. Pierce also says he did not contact police over the apparent altercation in the video.
I watched this video, and I’m going to be messed up about it for a long time. Pierce’s friends have started a fundraising campaign to help cover his living expenses; if you can help, please do.
Please be kind to each other. Please, just be kind to each other.
the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu
Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.