“You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.”—
why aren’t you rebelling?
what are you doing snuggled up in that mold that society handed you?
rebel, girl. make me feel something.
make me feel like my volvo might take flight. make me
feel like I am going somewhere. am I
going somewhere? I can’t remember.
you aren’t like other girls.
you’re smarter than other girls you see more than them and oh thank god
for that because other girls are the scum of the earth.
sweep them under the rug. knock their feet out
from under them.
fuck other girls. fuck their instagrams, right? and their nice hair.
what are you doing? reading poetry on the internet? God that’s
don’t tell your father.
remember when you were eight and you told your aunt you didn’t want anymore barbies?
you sort of did though.
but oh wow oh god you were so different then.
they looked at you like you were shaving your tiny head.
they looked at you in admiration. so fucking different.
balance on the wire, girl. you are
but only in a lovely way.
your biggest flaw is that you can’t put on makeup (really? but you look so good anyway!)
and that last week you just sort of “forgot” to eat and
you dropped five pounds like that
it’s so embarrassing! wow sometimes you just go days without eating. You’re so dumb
you just forget!
but it’s not like you’re trying
oh god no.
you don’t want to be one of those girls. but you do
want to do well of course. don’t you
want to do well?
walk the wire, place your pretty little feet one by one. don’t
waver. remember when you told yourself you were steel?
Rebel, girl, don’t forget to rebel.
but not in a way that makes me uncomfortable oh god
don’t tell me you don’t dream the way I dream. don’t tell
me you don’t see the same colors as me.
break the mold,
climb a tree,
write a pretty little poem,
don’t tell me that sometimes you can’t breathe because
you’ve realized that you only get to live one life and
this one isn’t working out exactly as you would’ve liked.
in 1640 some asshole named johnliterally had to change all the pronouns in those 126 sonnets because they were super fuckin queer and he was not comfy with how super fuckin queer they were
also, like, casual elizabethan bisexuality? christopher “they who love not tobacco and boys are fools” marlowe? the venetian “tit bridge”, where prostitutes were commanded by official decree to stand around topless to entice men who were bangin’ too many dudes, because there were so many gay men it was becoming a legitimate social problem?
welcome to the wonderful world of “literally everyone in the past was queer”, friend, enjoy your stay
“Our children’s first experiences of negotiation don’t happen in the sheets; they happen over dolls and toys. It’s a lot better to learn what’s making your needs known and what’s bullying your partner when the question is “do we play school, or alien robot attack.” It’s a lot better, and it’s highly transferable. The kid who thinks, “I have to play the space game that I don’t like because the other kid wants to” is not going to suddenly act differently with a prom date, and the kid who thinks, “anything I do to make them play my game is fair, because what I want is all that’s important” will think exactly like that after prom, too. They will, unless we step up as parents. I don’t believe it’s “helicopter parenting” to talk to our kids about how they play with each other. I believe it’s helicopter parenting to jump in and direct them. That’s counterproductive. Giving them the solution keeps them from ever developing the skills, and it’s the skills that are the point. But neither is a “life is tough on the savannah” approach good for all kids, and talking to them and guiding them about how they interact with their peers has always worked for me.”—Off To College Is Too Late For The Consent Talk | (via brutereason)
it’s not bad or selfish or wrong to desire attention and love when you are feeling ill and upset. sometimes, you need other people to keep you afloat. that’s okay. you are not a burden. being needy is not a bad thing. you deserve to be cared for. it’s okay to ask for help.
I’m gonna depress the hell out of all of you. ready? ok go
so, that “stop devaluing feminized work post”
nice idea and all
but the thing is, as soon as a decent number of women enter any field, it becomes “feminized,” and it becomes devalued.
as women enter a field in greater number, people become less willing to pay for it, the respect for it drops, and it’s seen as less of a big deal. it’s not about the job- it’s about the number of women in the job.
observe what happened with biology. it’s STEM, sure, but anyone in a male-dominated science will sneer at the idea of it being ‘for real,’ nevermind that everyone sure took it more seriously when it was a male dominated field. so has happened with scores of other areas; nursing comes to mind
so the thing is, it’s not the work or the job that has to be uplifted and seen as more respectable. it will never work out, until people start seeing women as respectable
but there’s a doozy and who the fuck knows if it’s ever happening in my life time
"observe what happened with biology. it’s STEM, sure, but anyone in a male-dominated science will sneer at the idea of it being ‘for real,’ nevermind that everyone sure took it more seriously when it was a male dominated field."
Personal anecdote time! I’m in a biology graduate program. An acquaintance wanted to introduce some guy to me because his son was thinking about becoming an undergrad science major. When he found out I was in the biology department, he grinned and said, “Well, I guess that’s kind of related to science.”
I gave him what I hope was an icy look and said, “Isn’t it strange how men outside the field started saying that right around the time biology majors shifted from mostly male to mostly female?”
The guy got this look on his face like he was about to play the “just a joke” card, and then an older woman who had been standing nearby, talking to someone else, turned to me and said, “The same thing happened with real estate.” She went on to explain that, over the course of the career, the male-to-female ratio among real estate agents had dropped, and the pay and “prestige factor” of that job dropped along with it.
This is also famous for happening to teaching. Keep an eye on medicine over the next fifteen years and watch as it becomes less prestigious and less well-paid.
It also happened to secretarial/administrative work - in the 19th century, clerical work was utterly respectable and seen as requiring quite a lot of talent and skill (which it still does!) but then along came the typewriter and women entering the field and HEY PRESTO “she’s just some secretary”
at my university, chemical engineering, or chem eng, was often referred to as “fem eng” why? because it’s an exact 50/50 ratio of women to men, which clearly makes it too feminine. in the 70s/80s chemical engineering was one of the most important and hardest engineering fields (plastics! pulp and paper! OIL) but now that there are more women in the field it’s considered an easier field, in comparison to other fields.
for example, i once heard a girl in mech eng list some of the engineering fields in the order she thought was hardest to easiest. you know what it was? electrical, mechanical, chemical. it’s absolutely no surprise that this list is also a handy ordering of fewest women in the field to most women in the field.
AND, another point! this happens the other way around too. computer science related fields used to be dominated by women, which made it not very important (switchboard operators? yup). once men started taking over the field, well that’s when the big money and prestige came in.